I see my son in the ocean.
He has his boogie board.
He is surfing.
He is an excellent swimmer.
He has no fear of the ocean.
So we have a signal.
I wave my hands when he is out too far and must come in.
My wave says danger.
He waves back to let me know he is coming closer to shore.
Except for this day.
I wave and he doesn’t see I think.
I wave again.
Now I know he is ignoring me.
I wave and he goes further out.
I stop waving and start running.
I run and wave and dive into the waves all at the same time.
(Don’t tell me this isn’t possible.)
At first he is out with the teenagers.
Then he is past them.
Thankfully I am a good swimmer too.
I yell to him as I swim towards him.
He doesn’t act like he sees me.
He is one with the ocean.
And then I finally reach him.
I am too tired to yell.
I look around while treading water beside him.
I am also amazed.
At the beauty of this ocean.
I am in wonder of God’s creation.
This takes me back to when
I was a young girl with my sister in these same waves.
We would float all day long in the ocean.
Later that night-
we would sleep with the waves still in our soul.
I forget we are in danger for one minute.
Then I see them.
There are two lifeguards swimming towards us yelling.
They have a hard time getting us back to shore.
We have to swim in an diagonal line.
This takes a long time.
A lot of man power.
They keep asking my son if he is okay.
He says yes.
He is not afraid of this ocean.
We finally make it back to shore.
There is a crowd of people watching our rescue.
I learn later we were caught in a small rip tide.
That is why we kept going further out in spite of my efforts.
As I walk to shore I feel my son grab my hand.
I look at his face.
He is not longer at peace.
You see my son is in danger of drowning here.
On the shore.
Everyday the waves of his emotions threaten to drown him.
Misunderstanding comes from him at every angle.
He asks me can we go back in the ocean and I say no.
We must stay on shore now.
But I feel like I am no longer saving him from the danger of drowning.